im moving... again!

yep. that's right. its a long dramatic story so ill make this short:
  • Richard didn't actually own the house. his dad does.
  • dad lives in Ireland.
  • when Richard broke the news to his dad that hes moving to WA to get back with his ex wife dad got mad.
  • then dad found out that Richard was renting out the room.
  • Dick (this is when his name changes from Richard to the abbreviated form of his name) wasn't allowed to.
  • i get a not-so-nice phone call from Ireland.
  • Dick moves out the next day.
  • i need to be out by January 15th.

this all happen within 2 hours, which was 4 hours before Sleeping Giants last show this tour, which was geoffs first day home. welcome home, honey-- im a stress case-- so glad you're back.

oh, but Dick said he'd be so gracious to write me a reference letter for my next place. thank you Mr helpful.

so ya, i think i may move into my brothers house for a month or two. just until i find out if mine and Geoff's offer on a house gets accepted. if it doesn't then ill be getting an apt which means i will need to find June a new home.
in a perfect world, my dream world:
  1. God gives us this house
  2. we have a short easy escrow
  3. i get to keep June
  4. all by march.

we're praying for extra favor from God.
honestly, i don't know what He's doing but i think this all must be to get me away from my "things" and out of any comfort zone that i once had and what i considered "home" to me. because for months now i haven't really had a home base. and each time i move i bring less and less with me. some goes to storage, some to sell and some just trashed. and moving into my little brothers house and staying in their spare bedroom will be the ultimate humbling experience. but this time i will literally be bringing nothing with me since its already furnished.
that means no more baking supplies, no sewing, less crafts, no style school projects that i paid in advanced and was looking forward to(!), no video editing, just less of the me that i was starting to really like in my life.
besides my car for my transportation i will be totally relying on others for the next few months.
i don't like that.

i know this is supposed to be a blog without complaints so i apologize for being such a negative nancy lately. i know it could be worse and im seriously grateful so much. when im in my room and driving i often think of all the things im grateful for that Gods given me. mainly its my mind being blown by how much He actually loves me the same today as he did when im a crappy person and that i have such beautiful wondering supportive friends.

sorry again this is all long winded and for breaking my own "no complaints" rule.

back to the regular program tomorrow.

oh, and something i found funny.... before leaving for tour for a month Geoff said, "i dont care if you move again because i wont be here to help you this time (evil cackle)!" welp buddy, guess what situation you just came home to! haha! sigh.... nothing makes or break a relationship like moving 3x in three months.


gift wrapping

after being annoyed by this craptastic tape i bought at target i thought ill just use the ribbon to hold the wrapping paper around the gifts. but since my sewing machine was already out from altering some shirts i thought id try it out. coolest. idea. ever! i dont think you could do this with any wrapping paper but its worked brilliantly with this printed kraft paper i got at target. its a thicker weight than the typical xmas paper.

i just cut a piece big enough to fold over and made a seam on one side of it
photo 51

did the same for the other side and checked to make sure the gift would fit inside there
photo 52
(thats linds' gift)

then i made a seam at the top to close it up
photo 53

BUT, after wrapping a couple of gifts this way i found an easier way with only two seams on each side. i just folded the paper around the gift and BAM BAM on either side and it looked so much cleaner
photo 55

this made wrapping gift way more fun this year. wish i could figure out how to do boxes like this!
photo 54

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa or just a Happy winter break!


christmas time is here

feeling a little down in the dumps yesterday i decided to go Christmas gift shopping after work. i always go into marshalls or ross with high hopes that ill find a great deal but i always end up just walking out wondering why the cuss i even went. things piled everywhere, rude people and screaming kids. so i went to my safe bet, target. i got a few gifts and wrapping paper and while strolling along those Christmas isles in the back of the store and i got suckered into it all. the tree, pretty ornaments, lights. and since theres nothing christmasy in that big empty house (literally no furniture except whats in our rooms) besides the teeny nativity set on the fire place and gold tinsel hanging on a rail (that richard wanted me to help him with) . so i decided why not.

it screams, im a girl and i live alone.
xmas tree
it has fiber optic lights in it and cheap $2 cute ornaments that look like bows and light bulbs

then i broke out my headband that i made for my halloween costume (i was a christmas tree). hot glued a window light ornament to a plastic head band haha
Photo 152

it never really felt like christmas time before last night.



changing it has become part of my morning routine.

i think its the combo of the holidays + not living with my friends anymore + things breaking/going wrong that he would normally take care of that makes it harder this time.
at least its only a month this time and its been flying by.

if you're the praying type please tell God to let our offer on a house get accepted. we will find out from the bank by friday. we really want this and are
trying to start our life together and this would be a huge blessing and help us out a lot. supposed to find out any day now


the ups and downs

down: geoffrey is gone on tour.

up: getting surprises from geoffrey while hes gone. (look at june in the bottom right! haha)
Photo 120

up: christmas time at disneyland

down: its friggen cold!
photo 30

up: watching YORK play
photo 12

down: their CDs were mixed with a kid singing about Mac n' Cheese! haha

down: junes got a ear infection + yeast infection
photo 32

up: having beautiful wonderful friends that help you clean out junes gross ear
photo 22

up: meeting Amanda and living with her for 2 weeks (then june killed our other roomies dog... so ya)

down: not living with her anymore
photo 13

i am so blessed. i really am grateful for everything i have and everyone i know. even you.


is it just me...

or has no one else noticed that the cover of Sarah Pailn's book looks eerily similar to The 40 Year Old Virgin?


Black friday

This was at 9:30pm on thanksgiving.

toys r us


best buy has a line almost around the build

Theres a fine line between being thrifty and plain ol' crazy.


photo dump of my last week

i cant believe its already mid november. insane. its like ever since august time has just zoomed by.
last weekend was non stop so i thought id share some of my favorite parts:
photo 1
not my favorite view but it was fun to watch FL play.

photo 2
the fans
photo 3

then i had to run straight from the game to my cousin's daughter's birthday party. my other cousin's boyfriend dressed up as Hamilton the pig (from maggie and the ferocious beast, i guess). Taytum was a lil hesitant at first...
photo 5
but she quickly warmed up and wouldnt stop hugging and holding his hand. one time is head almost fell off and she screamed, THERES A MAN IN THERE! THERES A MAN IN THERE! but we just told her shes crazy and that its just a pig. she eventually believed us.
photo 4

jojo got married!
photo 11
just kidding. she was in a bridal expo. she owned it. even in a dress like this...
photo 21

here some of my new place:
photo 41
grandma curtains.

photo 51
the chandelier in my bathroom. nbd.

photo 42

photo 32

photo 12
lots of fruits trees in the back
photo 52

and the best part:
photo 22
i get to have my june back.



on sunday i found a place where june and i can live together in harmony once again. its literally right down the street from the sheshack, huge closet, the dude that owns and lives there is barely ever home since he works 80+ hrs a week, no other pets, rent is cheap, really clean older home, and im moving in THIS FRIDAY! so stoked! so blessed. i really pray that this place will work out for a while. im sure it will.
i miss having my dog around and i know shes missing us. geoff visited her earlier in the day at the kennel yesterday and it was her first time seeing him in a week and he said she practically knocked him down when she saw him. awwww... and when i went by there later to bring her more food i was on my way to class so i couldnt play with her this time and the lady that owns the place was telling me she was such a cuddle bug that day... :(
its weird playing with her at the kennel. supervised visits, rationed food, schedule play time. sorta like jail. shes going to need a bath so bad this weekend haha

so ya, things are starting to look up. maybe calm down a bit. that would be nice for a little bit.

thank you to everyone who was helping spread the word on finding june a place to stay. i really really appreciate it so much.

big thanks to geoffrey. it takes a special kind of boyfriend to help their girlfriend move twice in two weeks and not want to kill them afterward. well... actually the second time will be in a couple days so there still time for that to happen. meh... i rented a 14' u haul, a dollie and i have 1/4 of the amount of stuff to move this time so things will be easier.

happy veterans day to all you veterans! everybody else, happy 11/11


june messes up

so as most of you know by now June killed my roommate's dog. not just my roommate, but its the dude who owns the house im living in. this is what happened:

its Tuesday, 5:50am. i wake up in my new surroundings and get ready for the first time in my usual getting-ready-for-work routine. feed and put June outside like i normally would have at the sheshack. i hit no traffic and get to work in record time making it into my office by 7:15am.
at 10am i get a call from a number i don't recognize so i don't answer it. i figure its one of the many apartments i was talking to trying to sell me again. get a voice mail but don't bother to check it because i only worked a half day on Monday and am behind with work. i get another call from that number a few mins later but still don't answer it. i then check the voice mail and its Cecilia, one of my new roommates. Shes crying saying its an emergency. that June killed Paul. i drop my phone and call my moms extension. i tell her and she runs over to my building. i was chatting off and on with Geoff via gtalk and i tell him on there. he didn't know who Paul was. Paul is one of Ted's dogs. A lil old Yorkie dog that was cute and quiet. kept to himself kinda like a cat.

i call Cecilia back and we are both crying. i mean, just losing it over the phone. she says she doesn't know what happened but that June killed Paul and she doesn't know what to do and that shes sorry. im like, your sorry?! IM SORRY! she was blaming herself. not her fault whatsoever. she had called Ted before she called me (Ted has been out of town since Friday night in TX for work and Cecilia and Brian were taking care of his dogs) and i guess he was really pissed, upset and mad, understandably. but that he didn't think June did it out of aggression. Cecilia took a picture of Paul and sent it to Ted.

when i came home the cleaning ladies were there. June was sitting in the corner of the side yard. she didn't even come up to us till we called her. i couldn't even look at her, i was so upset. Geoff walks her to my car and my mom and i call Ted. He doesn't answer. i left him a voice mail saying that im so sorry and for him to call me back so we can talk about it and what he wants to do. He never called me back.

We took her to the corona shelter but all they could do was put her to sleep. that is not an option. so i try about 6 other shelters and they all say the same thing. if she had bitten a person she would have been in quarantine for 10days and had personality tests done on her but since she killed a dog she isn't adoptable by shelter standards so they would just put her down since they are so full. having no one that can look after her for me i take her to that pet hotel off Lincoln.

i picked her up from there yesterday and she was fine and they said she was a sweet heart the whole time she was there. they gave her all A's on her report card haha. they knew the whole situation so she stayed clear of all other dogs. but since that place is around $40/night i had to move her to a new place in Mira loma yesterday. its a nice family ran place that's less than half the cost plus her kennel is like 3x the size. so its better.

i finally got to talk to Ted last night. He was really sympathetic and understanding. He doesn't think June did it out of aggression because if she did the dog would have been tore up and He only had two holes, one on each side of his little body. And June knew she did wrong and hid and i guess when dogs snap and loose it they tend to stay kinda crazy right after and Cecilia said that she checked June right after and that she was acting scared and hid, not mean or anything like that.

let me just set this straight: June actually really likes the little dogs i live with A LOT. its so cute to see her get so excited to be around them and play with them. her and two of the other dogs would play chase and since they were the bigger-little dogs they could be rougher when they played but June never showed an ounce of aggression to any of them. even when they took her bone. she was more afraid of them then they were of her at first. she is just too big to live around that many dogs that are so much smaller than her.

as of now we are thinking up ways to keep her until i am able to buy my own place (and hopefully that can happen by the new year) or find another place to live w/o other dogs. If anyone would like to dog sit June or if you know someone who could give her a better home than i can please let me know. its a crappy reality that i don't want to have to face and that ive been crying over since Tuesday, but if i have to give her up i will. but only to someone that i know will take care of her and love her as much as i do.

so ya. that's what happened. that's whats going on.
if anyone is selling a dog run, hit me up!
if you or someone you know is looking for a cute friendly people dog, hit me up!
if you want to dog sit for a bit, i will cover ALL expenses.


what now

seriously, when did everything start falling apart?

i had 3 main goals this year:
-get into film school
-buy a house
-get married

and how is this year ending?

in a job i loathe, have a zero point zero percent relationship with my father, no school, not married (but luckily still in a very awesome relationship), didnt get a house, in fact i had to move out of my comfy home i was renting, i feel homeless because i dont even feel comfortable where im at right now and im in danger of losing my dog and moving out the same week i moved into my new place. sure, things can always be worse. im thankful for the good things i have and through all this ive seen how wonderful my friends are. but what else is going to go wrong?

i thought things are supposed to progress upwards the older you get. especially if this is our prime.

fuck i hate so much right now and that makes me feel even worse.

all i want to do is go home and check out, but i dont have one.

if you are wondering about the story with june and the other dog ill post about it tonight so i dont have to retell the long complicated story over and over. not that you are annoying me, its just sad.


cuteness overload: june doggy sings

so as you might have heard, June is the cutest freaking dog. one awesome thing about her is that she rarely barks and she says "heeyyy" when geoff or anyone of the girls come home. yes, she really grunts and makes a sound that sounds exactly like hey. i think she learned this from brenda because she screams HEEEYYY when someone comes through the door.
another adorable thing is how she howls at sirens when she thinks no one is around(i think she gets embarrassed about her voice). so geoff and i got the brilliant idea to download a siren app on our handy dandy iphones and this is what we got:

about 00:39 she gets into it.

just majestic.

and if it couldn't get any cuter... IT JUST DID:

head tilts + floppy bed ear = adorable overload.

is anyone else saying "so f---ing cute!!!" in their head or is that just me?


broken hearted

tonight my brother james called me to let me know that our stepmom is in newport this weekend visiting her dad for his birthday and neglected to let my brother james or i know because she didnt want to make a big thing about it. 

uuuhh......my stepmom, whos been my stepmom since i was 7, who lives in colorado with my father and their two kids, who hasnt seen me in a year and my brother in almost two years was within driving distance and didnt want to see us. 

we only found out because my 8 year old brother Brett called and told James. 

let down and sad doesnt even describe the feeling i have inside. 
why didnt she want to see us?
why didnt she want to catch up and maybe get a bite to eat?
why didnt my dad tell us?
why is it okay for her to fly out here for her dads birthday but my dad cant fly out here to see us?
why wont he answer my phone calls, texts or emails?
why wont he visit us or pay to have us visit him?

when did i become part of my dads other family?

why after all this time and after so much shit do i still hurt by him?

why couldnt i have gotten a better caring loving father? one who actually really loves me and wanted to get to know me? one who didnt leave.
one that could have showed me what a real man is. 



Found this on some car outside the movies. She'll be lucky if she (or
he) still has a boyfriend after this.


s'more pizza

so its not perfected or anything but this is how it goes:

cookie dough as the "dough and crust" of the pizza. bake for about 8 mins at 350*
s'more pizza

then i crumbled chocolate flavor and regular ol' graham crackers over it. added chocolate chips and chocolate bars pieces on top of that, more graham pieces and topped with mini marshmallows. place it in the oven for about another 8-10mins.
s'more pizza
(ya, i looks really messy. i need to perfect the layering process)

then take out and enjoy
s'more pizzas'more pizzas'more pizza


bob's big boy, norco ca


Unicorns in the rearview

Meet sara's neighbors


Happy birthday Brenda

25 years ago one of my bestest friend was born <3


skate night

to celebrate my 25th birthday we went roller skating. and since dave's california skate closed down we ventured out to this little rink in orange. man, how things have changed since i was a 12. there were so many hood rat little kids doing disgusting things with each other. but i digress...
my friends are awesome and were all good sports and came out dressed in 70's attire. such good times...
skate date
skate date
they look like they should be on that wall of skating teams
skate date
jolene opted for the hippies of 1970
skate date
april is amazing.
skate date
that would be me photo-bombing, brenda mid word (you guess what shes about to say), and jon & april waiting to catch a treat in their mouths...
skate date
meg & cami
skate date
mark teaching brenda how to skate
skate date
skate date
skate date
the only photographic evidence that i can actually skate...
skate date
my favorite twins
skate date
always love me some kelsey!
skate date
and just like everything else, geoff is better at skating than everyone else (even though this picture makes him look like a tard)
skate date
skate date
put lucas pool side with a speedo and he would look like someones cabana boy with this stache...
skate date
photographic proof that florida really does have a girlfriend. and not is she a real live girl... but she is really pretty
skate date
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