do you ever feel like your in one big giant waiting room? like your whole life is continually waiting on something else to happen to get where you want to go? you have to wait and see if your name is going to get called. but i'm talking about waiting for years and years. and while your waiting you have to do the most humdrum boring thing you despise the most at times. not being able to be with or do the things you love and long for the most. and everyday is another day you have to keep going moving to get closer to what you want with zero guarantee or promise you'll see all your hard work come to fruition. and every dream and quest you went for always seem to crumble in front of your very eyes. with only few promising words every couple of weeks to keep you in high spirits you get to wake up to this everyday knowing full well its going to be a long journey. the scary thing is is that you have full control (to an extent, it all really depends on what The Big Guy has got planned) on how this could all turn out. if it doesn't happen
its all on you.
your efforts weren't enough.

i get so discouraged some days.
i get so restless at times.
sometimes apathy sounds like the safest place to hide.

i dont mean to sound like a whiner. i know there are faaar worst situations to be in. and that i am blessed beyond comprehension. i just needed to vent. pray for the Haitians.


Anonymous said...

you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself here lady. yes, you are responsible for your choices and all that, but it's not like you are going to slip up and be miserable for the rest of your life.

that is whats so awesome about second chances, and third, and fourth chances. life is a journey of learning.

there are times we are gonna miss it, and times we are going to get it.

and each one of those times God is there, brushing off our knees, and saying "let's give it another shot"

wow...that got really cheesy there at the end. i hope you get my drift, though.

Candice said...

not cheesy at all. its just i feel like if i mess up trying to get what i want i wont get it and be stuck with plan b. haha...
oh the beauty of the second chance.
thank you chris

Brenda_Says_: said...

You said it best "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!" If I may be so bold as to quote Coldplay "If you never try you'll never know"

O'Shunta said...

the whole waiting room scenario. i think i had a dream like that once. but it was in my house. and i would try and leave out one door but it would bring me in the same door. Then i realized...


ok, i know this probubly doesn't help your feelings about the whole situation at all but...i like to share.


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