So by day 4... I had lost 3lbs of water weight and I had zero energy. I was having two "movements" a day and was barely sleeping.
Come day 5 and I could barely function. I barely made it to my doctor appt that day and had to pull over to a walgreens to use the bathroom. I was in there for 20 mins. 20 minutes of pure stomach pain and my legs falling asleep from sitting on the toilet for so long. And while I was peeing from my butt and calling my mom to pick me up because i was too sick to drive, i realized this is in no way healthy for me and I was ending it that day.
I felt like I broke edge.
How do anerexic people do this? How do you get your brain and body to that point where you can find comfort or power and control fighting a natural urge?
I can detox my body in a much more healthy manner. So now I am. But first, my first meal was with the ladies to lucille's. Florida's Kristina was working that night and she hooked us up with free dessert. But since i had gone so long without a full meal I couldn't finish my first meal because my guts shrank so much.
This may work for some people but I need food to function. And I love to eat too much.
Now I'm eating raw veggies and fruits and as little meats as I can and tea and water only. Pretty much only natural and whole foods. That's healthy I can handle.
so day 2 went a lot smoother than the first day. cravings weren't too bad and i only ate an orange and a few pieces of asparagus. just kept myself occupied and i was golden!
i ended up scoring a really cool vintage sewing desk off craigslist
i put it in my little hobby room and i cant wait to clean it up and use it! theres all these little drawers and hidden cubbyholes with nails to hold everything. i love organization.
i did a lot of cleaning that night from the surprise party we had for april on sunday at the house. she was totally surprised and there was lots of food and good times. there was still a lot of candy (temptation) around the house still and i had a weak moment... i had done so good all day and what would one little reese's peanut butter cup hurt, i mean its just one and i wouldnt eat the whole thing just half. so i unwrap its goodness only to take a little half nibble out of it but then this wave of guilt came over me and i couldnt do it. i couldnt nibble it. so i licked it. yep, i went there. i licked it. then i wrapped it back up and tossed it in the trash. june gave me this look like, PASS IT DOWN!
productive night, no?
day 3 was rough. i started off feeling so hungry i was feeling sick. and by 4 i was STARVING. joanna and i were meeting up in rancho to pick up a gift we got the boys and while we were down there we went to this vegan restaurant. i caved. vegan is healthy, right?! sooo delicious. my belly was so full by the end i could tell my guts have started to shrink.
afterward i met up with natalie and brie at generate. ive never been a fan of that service for a few reasons but i wanted to go and hang out with nat and brie so i went. it was really beautiful. people choosing to be baptized and everyone was getting lost in worship. even little natorii went and got baptized! we didnt know till she came back to her seat and was soaking wet! haha it was a really beautiful night. to celebrate they got pizza. ya, pretty much my weakness. thats what messed me up on day one! but since it was a celebratory pizza i couldnt say no to a slice. or two. :\ im back on the saddle today and so far im going stong. but, its only 11 am.
heres a video of the pinata from sundays bday party. it had to be reinforced with tape and strung from 3 different ropes so the guys couldnt demolish it in one swing. this aint your average pinata party! and forgive my weedy backyard.
without getting into too much detail, ive been having a lot of stomach (upper and lower) issues lately and after talking to a few of friends who've done cleanses, ive decided to do one myself. plus i could use a quick fix to lose the few pounds that just dont seem to fall off and geoff comes home in 2 weeks (heck yessssss!).
the master cleanse.
day one is supposed to be to wane yourself off food. so 6-12 servings of the lemonade/syrup/pepper juice and organic fruits. so i made myself a big ass pitcher of the special lemonade last night and brought a jug to work. the cayenne pepper killed me! and i ate an orange for lunch and had a bunch of water throughout the day. i ended up throwing up in my moms car by 5pm. for serious. hi, im 12 and still getting car sick and ralphing in my moms car.
and since im being honest i must admit that i gave in and had a piece of pizza for dinner. i felt really guilty. and since we're being honest here i must admit that i had two pieces. oops!
so tomorrow im fully ready to tackle the hungers.
pre-made special lemonade (w/o the pepper), an orange, cucumber, and some zero water in case my electrolytes get low and i get the shakes. and instead of using grade B syrup im using Agave Nectar since its so low on the glycemic index. then to finish the night off with a sea salt flush. awesooome.
hopefully day 2 goes smoother and with less ralphing. my toughest times of the day are in the morning, after work, and forth meal time.
